The people who come running to hug you after you haven’t seen them in awhile are my favorite type of people.
lingerie encrusted with $6,000 worth of swarovski crystals and a floor length faux fur coat
what if squidward was a rapper and after all of his songs he went “squid. word”
I asked my friend if she was having a good day today. All she replied with was this
turn on: when all my coloring pencils are sharpened and pointy
Fun fact: if you approach an employee and insist that they go ‘check the back’ for an item that’s not on the shelf, there is a 90% chance that they’ll go to the back room, scratch their ass and check their text messages for five minutes, and come back out with a sympathetic smile and a ‘Sorry!’ because they know without even looking that the stock isn’t there.
or that its trapped under 100lbs of other product, shrink wrapped to a pallet 3 feet in the air
- me every monday: i can't wait for another weekend.
- me: adds 78503247324750234875237629642 songs to my phone
- me: skips all of them
the fact that there are no leaked nudes on my dashboard proves that i’m following the right people
people who feel comfortable pooping anywhere other than their house are not to be trifled with
I want 0 responsibilities and a lot of lingerie